{Community} Fat Does Not Equal…

Hey Delights!

So there is a new piece out in the June/July issue of People StyleWatch about Ashley Graham with her being quoted in response to the question “You exude body-confidence. How did you learn to turn off that negative voice we all have?” as saying”

“There are some days when I feel fat”

Ok. I follow Ashley Graham on Instagram & for the most part I would say she seems like a fun, sometimes self deprecating person. But I have had conversations in private before about Ashley but I am going to talk a little bit about her in public today.

Basically the statement that she made essentially equated “feeling fat” to not feeling confident about her body and that struck me in the foulest of ways because it perpetuates the stereotype that being fat means you are less. Less of everything, confident, desirable, beautiful, worthy.

And it’s all just so frustratingly annoying.

Yes Ashley, we all can have days when we are not feeling “like a million dollars” but how can I take you serious as someone promoting confidence for women like me when you seem to have an issue with the fat that women like you and me have?

When I started this blog the whole premise for the name and everything was to promote plus size women living their lives fully, openly, honestly and not shackled by all the nonsense out there about weight and what you should and should not do, be and feel. 

I used to write posts about body positivity. I have shared about how and why I own words like plus size and fat, participated in an podcast about size discrimination (it’s really a great interview that also featured Melissa Zimdars who was a Fat Studies scholar @ the University of Iowa that is worth a listen), called out brands on their limiting nonsense and their perpetuating of stereotypes more than once and have even included Ashley’s modeling wins in that mix.

But I decided that the way for me to be the most body positive was by showing myself and living my life OUT LOUD. And that hopefully by doing so other women would see body positivity in action and hopefully be inspired to do the same for themselves.

So for the most part I don’t really write or rant about body positivity as much but I feel the need to say something about this today.

In episode 14 of The CurvaCast I briefly spoke about an issue that I had with Ashley and some of the other plus size models and how they were essentially trying to get everyone to stop using the term plus size and how I had private side eye conversations about that.

But this new statement from Ashley just really bothers me especially coming from someone who has written a book about “confidence” and from someone that is being lauded as a role model representing body positivity.

Besides just friggin’ annoying me on general principle terms, what Ashley said feeds into the ish that plus size women have to deal with & fight against in so many ways every damn day.

Fat does not equal ugly.

Fat does not equal unappealing.

Fat does not equal unhappy.

And because as I mentioned I follow Ashley on Instagram and watch her instastories and get the impression that she likes to be sarcastic. And while I know a lot of folks might give me a side eye for writing this, I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt this one last time because I presume that there are moments when she doesn’t realize that what she’s saying is not OK.

And I will also add that I would hope Ashley realizes that now that she has put herself out there as a spokesperson for healthy body images & confidence, that she needs to talk the talk and be conscious of what she says and of the impact of her words and not just walk the walk when the runway & other opportunities present themselves.

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