{Body Positive} The Power of Your Words

When I started on my journey of self-love, one of the first things I decided on was that I would change the words I used to speak to myself. You see, my lovelies, words are powerful and when wielded in the wrong manner they can cause irreversible harm, but when they are used with honesty, purpose and thoughtfulness the results can be absolutely beautiful.

Now, if I make a heartfelt promise to use my words in a more nurturing and loving manner towards myself― why would I then use those same words to tear another woman down. You see, my responsibility as the good human being I aim to be is not only to myself, but to other women as well. How do I uplift myself and then tear another woman’s self-esteem down? How can I fight a problem I perpetuate?

We need to stop shaming and judging the appearance of other women. Think of it as a mirror effect. Every insult and backhanded compliment you throw bounces back. You can’t demand equality and positivity amongst women in the world while using your voice to degrade them. And you may think it’s a harmless catty comment, but those negative words you throw into the world hurt us all.

 I do my best not to judge, and believe me, it was not easy at first. Years of being predisposed to the mentality that this was the way we should speak to and about one another is a virus that cannot be cured overnight. But you have to make the effort to change, not only for yourself but to create a change in our circles, society and world. Who am I to judge if I don’t like your outfit, the fit of your  jeans, the length of your shirt or whatever other thing I might disagree with? It’s your body, your space and you should be able to inhabit it in the best way that makes you happy.

Why would I insult you, mock or shame you? Who am I to criticize? I’m not perfect, as a matter of fact none of us are. I’m short and chubby and to an outsider there are plenty of things they feel free to judge me on. But guess what, just like you I am so much more than someone else’s opinion. I’m more complex than just my size. My value is not determined by my looks are neither is yours.

So let’s make a pact to change the way society speaks about women by changing the language ourselves. Next time you come across another fierce femme, start deleting the presets of judgement and any demeaning words in your vocabulary that stem from it. Instead throw a compliment her way―  “I love your necklace”, “I love that dress”, “You have great hair”. You don’t have to necessarily focus on solely her looks either. If you know her, praise her talents, intelligence, strength. 

Whatever you choose to focus on doesn’t matter, what does matter is that you are sincere. And down the road, you’ll feel the positive impact your words have not only on yourself, but on those around you.